Resilience through Love

Pain and pleasure are opposites. 

The public generally views pain as bad and pleasure is good. 

But, not always. 

We also recognize that excessive pleasure can be bad. 

Because of addiction.

Addiction happens because we have a tendency to offset pain with pleasure. And in our pursuit to create this balance, we sway too far towards pleasure. 

So let’s explore why we seek pleasure.

Does it mean the more pleasure we seek, the more pain we’re in? 

Possibly. 

But what about those people who seem to endure pain, while not faltering to excessive pleasures? 

It could be two things:

  1. They have their own secret relationship with pleasure to offset pain that we don’t know about
  2. They have their own secret relationship with pain to offset pleasure

Number two is my definition of resilience. 

I choose to endure pain because of the joy it brings me knowing that I am creating safety, joy, and happiness for those things and people I love. 

Remember when we use to look up at the sky?

As adults, how often do we look up at the skies to appreciate its beauty? No matter what weather, the sky is so vast, powerful, and great. 

As children, it seems like that’s all we saw. 

Could there be a correlation to “looking up” and our rate of growth? 

As children grow with accelerating speed, they constantly look up at taller beings, hoping to reaching those new heights one day. 

Even if we’ve grown physically taller as adults, we can still figuratively look up to bigger, taller, and greater reference points to continue our growth. 

One challenge many of us experience as adults is that we often compare sideways for comfort or down for pride such that we forget that there’s another direction to look; up. 

What are we exactly buying with college tuition dollars? 

Products and services.

The Product

Degrees and Certifications – Degrees and certifications act as “social proof” that as students, we invested the spent to learn a particular subject. But, degrees and certifications don’t act as proof for how much someone actually learned, retained, and are able to apply.

The Service

Preparation of Information – we pay professors organize and structure learning material.

Communication of Information – we pay professors to articulate the learn material in such a way that it is digestible.

Persuasion – we pay professors to persuade us that the information that teach us is important.

Accountability – we pay professors to grade our learning performance through Key Performance Indicators; attendance, participation, quality reports of what we learned.

Stress, Pressure, Consequences – we pay professors to give us stress and to pressure us to perform better.

What does it mean to be smart?

People like to feel smart. I do.  You probably do too. 

But why?
Feeling smart is pleasurable.
It makes us feel more valuable and important. 
It makes us feel right. 

Feeling wrong makes us feel terrible and it’s likely the source of angry arguments at dinner parties and on social media. 

Feeling smart gives us pride; for the work that we do and the effort invested into becoming more educated. 
Feeling smart motivates us to want to feel smart again. 

But, what does it actually mean to BE smart?
How does one go beyond their delusional perceptions of just feeling smart?
What is the public perception of smart?
Is there a gap between public perception and objective “smartness”? (Is that even a word??)

Is a smart individual an educated person who can recite what they learned?
Is a smart individual someone who has a degree at a high paying job?
Is a smart individual someone who is skilled at their job?
Is a smart individual someone who is successful at achieving their goals?

What does “smart” mean?

Dictionary.com’s definition of smart is “having or showing a quick-witted intelligence”.
But I think the public perception of smart is more closely related to “intelligence”.
Intelligence is defined as “the ability to acquire and apply knowledge and skills.”

For someone to be highly intelligent and considered “smart”, that person should be able to acquire and apply knowledge and skills in such a way that makes them successful at achieving a particular objective. 

Therefore, I will break down intelligence into 3 categories: 

  1. Knowledge – foundational data and informational inputs
  2. Application – ability to process and apply those inputs
  3. Achievement – ability to successfully execute inputs to achieve a desired objective

One cannot achieve success without application of knowledge, and application of knowledge is impossible without actual knowledge itself.

Knowledge = Data

In our modern age, to acquire knowledge is not that difficult. We have so much data about the world; thanks to Google. But having data alone isn’t enough. The data must be accurate.

But for data to be accurate, due diligence is needed. For due diligence, we need questions; for questions, curiosity; and for curiosity, healthy self-doubt; and for healthy self-doubt, humility.

The challenge that we often face when confirming actual knowledge (aka “accurate data”) is our conviction for our perception of knowledge is just as strong as having actual knowledge. So this perception often causes us to mistake perceived knowledge from actual knowedge.

Application = Processing

To apply knowledge, we use a combination of heuristics (mental shortcuts) and logic.
I see logic as a effective, validated, and standardized form of a heuristic.

As much as wrong inputs lead to wrong outputs, we can have the right inputs and wrong logic and get wrong outputs.

Imagine us doing a math problem on a calculator:
• 2578 – 372 = 2206
• We input the first 2578 correctly, accidentally press the plus key instead of minus, and input the 372 correctly.
• Our computation ends up being 2578 + 372 which gives us 2950.

The inputs were correct, but the processing logic was incorrect.

Similarly in real life, when we apply the knowledge we have, the process in which we apply the knowledge should be refined and accurate for successful execution.

Achievement = Desired Result

With accurate inputs and processing, we achieve a result.
But that’s not where it ends.
It’s not that easy.

If it was, would life be any fun and fulfilling?

We need consistent achievement of results to achieve a larger objective.

Think about it like this:

Desired result x Number of repetitions = Achievement of Objective

What does sharing mean in life?

This thing they call life is a shared existence. 

We are all roommates that share space on the planet Earth.

Earth is a giant space that contains smaller spaces with even smaller spaces inside. Kind of like a box inside of a box inside of a box.

Earth is divided into continents; continents into countries; countries into states/provinces; states/provinces into cities; cities into towns; towns into infrastructures (such as buildings, homes, roads); and buildings, homes, roads into smaller spaces such as rooms, and parking spaces. 

Think about the room we are currently in right now. This room is one the smallest simplified space. We’re roommates.

As roommates, we must co-exist. We have interconnected responsibilities.